Part 3 Introduction

I would like to thank all my family and friends for the immense wave of love and support I’ve been overwhelmed with. I love you. You mean the world to me! I would also like to express how happy and lucky I am to have met so many wonderful people along the way. I never thought such an experience would bring me closer to people and open a door to beautiful friendships. I am truly grateful to have been blessed with such loving and inspiring people, and that is enough reason for me to keep fighting with everlasting power and strength!

Thank you Rowan El Shimi for helping me design and set up my blog! I had no clue! I love you!

As I have mentioned in my previous post, my chemo sessions were 2 weeks apart. I tried to make the best out of the ‘nausea-free’ days I had in between. I carried on with my regular lifestyle, which had recently included much partying and staying up late with friends. I ended up feeling sick every single time. I was getting weaker by the day but I still refused to admit it to myself, and kept ignoring the signals my body sent out.

I was also starting to feel depressed, not because of my illness, but because of how much it was taking over my life. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Even when friends asked, I tried to be as brief as I could. I lived each day dreading the next session.

Thinking about the nausea instantly made me nauseous and it still does till this day!

I was too passive to consider supplements and healthy nutrition. I thought it was useless since chemo destroys everything anyway. What possible good would a drop water do to a dead plant? Nothing. I knew how toxic chemo was and I was convinced that no good/natural substance would survive in a pool of toxins.

Even when I asked my doctor if there was any kind of food or substance I had to remove from or add to my diet, he told me that I was allowed to eat and drink absolutely anything, including soft drinks and junk. My mother even asked if there were any supplements I had to take, but he didn’t recommend anything in specific. The only thing he recommended was a spoon or 2 of molasses honey a day, in order to make up for the possible hemoglobin loss in my blood from chemo.

On the bright side, my lump was shrinking. I was responding to chemo. We were all really happy to see promising results in relatively little time.

We were all under the impression that the 3^rd chemo session was going to be my last. We were relieved! My treatment was scheduled to be as follows: 3 chemo sessions, radiation and then surgery (even though surgery wasn’t part of the plan in the beginning).

Four days before my ‘last’ session, my uncle’s wife from Kuwait called my mom and told her that she knew someone in Egypt who could help. She said he was a Reiki master who’s had experience with similar cases. My mother asked if I was interested and I thought to myself, why not? I have a friend who’s a Reiki practitioner and she’s cured my headaches before.

Reiki is meant to stabilize and balance the energy fields in our body. It helps maintain a healthy energy flow, which is believed to promote healing and clear energy blockages in main energy centers in our body called chakras. It’s based on the idea that an unseen ‘life force energy’ flows through our body. If this energy is low, we are more likely to get sick, and if it is high, we are capable of being healthier.

Our bodies may seem solid, but if we magnify the cells, molecules, and atoms of which we are composed of, we would see that at the most basic level we are made up of subtle energy fields.

Anyway, my mother called Dr. W right away. She had a very long conversation with him about my case. They discussed my diagnosis, treatment and progress. He told her that personally, he was incapable of providing this kind of help for such a disease, but referred a colleague who specialized in this field. He said he wasn’t sure if his friend would have the time to help as he is traveling most of the time and treats only critical cases referred to him by family or close friends. Dr. W was nice enough to call up a favor on Dr. F and I truly thank him for that. He said he was going to call him and get back to my mother as soon as he received an answer.

My mom found so much hope in everything Dr. W said. She didn’t tell me the details of the conversation but I could tell that she was happy. I was happy to see her happy.

She anxiously waited for the phone call, hoping that Dr. F would take up my case and agree to help. Dr. W finally called back later in the evening, he told her that he spoke to Dr. F and that he would like to speak with her about my case.

My mother called Dr. F as soon as she hung up, but he didn’t answer. She felt very sad and disappointed. I didn’t understand why she had so much faith in someone she’s never met. It was probably a mother’s gut feeling, which fortunately (and unfortunately sometimes :D) is always right!

Dr. F called back later at night when I was out with my friends. He told my mother that he used very strict treatment protocols with his patients and that he had to get an approval from me before we proceeded. Otherwise, it was pointless.

When my mom told me about the conversation she had with Dr. F, I was confused. I couldn’t think of the kind of protocol he would want me to follow. I assumed he was a Reiki master like Dr. W. All I could think of were energy exercises and meditation. I was interested to hear what he had to say, so my mother and I went to see him the next day.

I had imagined him to be a psychic or some sort of witch doctor for absolutely no reason (even though Reiki has nothing to do with psychic powers or abilities). At the same time, I imagined he would look like the gurus we hear about and see in movies. In my head, he was a tall man in his 40’s, very fair and all dressed in white.

Obviously, the image I had of him had absolutely nothing to do with who or what he did in reality.

Our appointment was at 10am, which meant that I had to wake up at 8:30 in order to get there on time. That alone was enough torture for me as I was used to sleeping really late and waking up no earlier than noon.

I woke up, had my coffee and shower, got dressed, put on my wig and left the house. My mom and I managed to get there on time. We sat in the waiting area for a couple of minutes before he personally welcomed us into his office.

He seemed like a nice man but as soon as I laid eyes on him, I could tell that we weren’t going to get along, at least for that time. I didn’t know why, but I knew it.

(TO BE CONTINUED)