Part 3: Internal Struggle, Chemo Complications & Current Treatment

I couldn’t help but notice the number of stones, crystals and geometric figures Dr. Fahmy had in his office. I knew they had something to do with energy but I didn’t bother ask.

He looked nothing like I had imagined. He was a short man in his late 50’s (or so I thought); he had dark skin and was dressed in casual clothes.

He introduced us to his assistant, who also attended the meeting. She was a woman probably in her late 40’s or early 50’s. She had very fair skin that radiated with light. Just by looking at her, I could tell how much at peace she was with herself. She was vibrant and beautiful. I admired her from the moment I saw her, even though she was quiet all the time. She was more of an observer during this meeting.

For the first few minutes, there was a moment of silence. I was expecting him to initiate conversation, and I’m assuming he was expecting me to do the same, but I didn’t. My mother realized how awkward it was, so she started speaking. He then looked at me, though directing his words to my mother, saying that he wanted to hear the story from my point of view. I didn’t understand why it mattered. There was only 1 story to tell, the same story!

I didn’t have the energy to speak, so I went over everything very briefly disregarding the emotional side of my experience. He had a subtle smile throughout the conversation, which gave me a weird feeling. I didn’t know why he had it or what it meant. It was more like an “I told you so” smile or the smile someone gave you when they knew what you were going to say next. I couldn’t understand. All I knew was that there was something strange about this man, be it good or bad. I didn’t know yet.

Even though we stayed at his office for a very long time, I completely blocked out very important parts of the conversation.

He totally lost me when he very bluntly and in confidence said that if I solely relied on orthodox treatment, I would most likely have a recurrence within a couple of years. He could tell by the look on my face that I didn’t like the sound of what he was saying.

I told him that I knew people who have been cured and haven’t had any recurrences so far, but then again, my argument was based on the limited number of people I’ve heard of and at the same time, disregarding the other number whom I know have had recurrences.

I knew he had no intention to bring me down because he was offering to provide a solution.

He even asked me to look at recurrence statistics in order to see for myself. Even though I could have, I refused. I didn’t want anything or anyone to bash my comfort zone.

I must admit I was very rude and snappy. Anyone could tell how skeptical I was. I knew I was being childish but I couldn’t help it. I could tell how embarrassed my mother was by my attitude.

A fruitful conversation would require a healthy argument on both sides, or at least an open mind to try and understand what one has to say. I didn’t want to argue. I had nothing to argue with. I didn’t even want to understand, but something inside me kept telling me that there was truth in what he said.

At that stage, I had no intention to stop chemo; the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I had no information about all the chemotherapy risks and side effects. I hadn’t done any research about cancer and the different treatment options. I trusted my oncologist, and ignored everyone else.

At first, I thought Dr. Fahmy was a Reiki master, but then I realized that the amount and quality of knowledge and information he had about cancer required a person to have some sort of medical background. I was fascinated.

I asked him about the type of treatment he used, and I asked if it had anything to do with Reiki. He said that Reiki was only a small part of what he does. He explained that over the past 30 years, he has been researching and incorporating different healing methods which promote the curing process of a person. Of course, it was too much for me, or anyone to grasp. I wasn’t sure what he meant but I let him continue. He said that rather than following one treatment technique or protocol, he found it more effective to integrate different techniques, which have been proved to work effectively together. This was all under the umbrella of ‘holistic’ healing or therapy.

Rather than merely dealing with the physical symptoms of a disease, holistic treatment acknowledges the significant effect of our mental and spiritual state on our body. It’s based on the idea that any physical symptom of a disease is nothing but a sign of imbalance in our system (Mind, body & soul). This brings us to saying that the formation of a physical symptom is the final stage in the formation of a disease.

It all started making sense. This specifically explains why we have very high recurrence rates in the world of cancer. The way orthodox medicine deals with cancer is by suppressing the tumor through chemo or removing it with surgery (the physical symptom) and disregarding the disease itself.

The disease in this case would be the holistic factors which have triggered the formation of a tumor. These factors need to be reversed in order for a person to be cured (in the true sense of the word).

The word ‘cured’ for cancer patients by medical definition means that a patient is free of disease for the next 5 years at most, which contradicts the actual meaning of the word. An extra ‘cancer-free’ day after the 5 years would make a patient ‘statistically cured’, which explains why statistics could be misleading. Survival statistics disregard the relapse or death of a patient after 5 years of survival.

When I asked my oncologist about the cause of my tumor, he said he had no clue. He gave me a list of random possible causes that were completely irrelevant to my situation.

He asked me not question God’s will, but that wasn’t where I was heading.

I wanted to know what I did wrong to get such a disease. Some doctors told me that the cause could have been ‘emotional trauma’, which proves that they acknowledge the effect of our psychological state on our body.

If the doctors cannot find the true cause of cancer, how can they cure it? Sure, they can suppress it by chopping off body parts and poisoning people, but what do patients get in return? A 5 year guarantee before a possible recurrence?

If we’ve already established the fact that the physical symptom of a disease is the final stage of its formation, then dealing with its root cause would reverse it and make it disappear.

Another very important point in this theory is that treatment must be personalized based on every person’s case and the separate characteristics of his/her body.

We hear about people who shared the same disease and received the same treatment but then each one of them had a different reaction. This also explains why sometimes a certain vitamin/painkiller/antibiotic would really work for one person, but would be of absolutely no benefit to another.

Of course, there are general guidelines for treating diseases but there is no unified treatment.

At the time of that first meeting with Dr. Fahmy, I was completely oblivious of the above information. All I understood was that he used energy healing in its different forms along with nutrition.

I asked him to give me an idea about the type of treatment I would be required to follow. This was where it all started!

He threw a HUGE list of do’s and dont’s! Below is everything as far as I remember:

–       He told me that the only fabrics I was allowed to wear were cotton and linen since other types are chemically treated and the toxins eventually make their way through our body.

–       He told me that I should only see positive friends and cut out all the negative people from my life in order to avoid any negative frequencies or vibes which could affect my health.

–       Wearing a lot of the color white was highly recommended. Black was a big no.

–       He told me that I should stop going to parties and avoid loud music, which is also believed to weaken the body’s energy level and therefore affect my health.

–       I wasn’t allowed any sugar, caffeine or protein. I had to become vegetarian.

–       I was only allowed to eat alkaline forming foods, which meant that tomatoes and oranges were a big no.

–       I wasn’t allowed white wheat or dairy (except for cottage cheese).

The list goes on forever, really. The whole idea behind his way of treatment was to turn my body alkaline in order to fight off the disease. He said that cancer lives in a highly acidic and deoxygenated environment; one way to cure it would be to increase the alkalinity level of the blood and oxygenate it through food and breathing exercises.

Along with this nutritional system, he told me that I had to see him around 4 or 5 times a week for energy sessions. I didn’t bother ask what these sessions were like or for.

He said that I had to follow this system until I am cured and then he would teach me how to do my own ‘maintenance’ in order to avoid any future imbalance. I didn’t even understand what that meant.

It was all still too much too grasp. The list made me furious, and all I could think of, was the party I was going to that night, and the dress I was going to buy for my best friend’s wedding after that meeting. I kept thinking about the number of things I had to let go of in order to heal his way.

Again, he could tell that I wasn’t happy even though everything he said made sense (excluding minor things I wasn’t convinced with at the time).

He recommended an energy session on the same day. It was meant to prepare me for my next chemo session and help reduce the side effects, but I refused.

I told him I that had other plans and that I wasn’t free. He gave me that smile again. This time it felt like he read my mind and I believe he did. In my head, I thought of myself as a very shallow person who was too preoccupied with all the trivial components of my life, even when it came to caring about my own wellbeing. I needed to love myself.

I realized that even more when chemotherapy suddenly felt like a piece of cake comparing to the natural, painless, healthy protocol I had to follow.

My mother looked at me in disappointment.

Before she or even I even spoke, he looked at her and asked her to not interfere. He told her that I was still unprepared and that forcing me into this would be useless. The will had to be mine and not hers.

He then looked at me told me that I needed to set my priorities straight, and that at this critical time, my health had to be my number one priority.

I had nothing to say in return. I told him I would get back to him soon and let him know whether I would like to proceed with treatment or not. I was very condescending and rude. He still had a smile on his face.

I kept fidgeting on the chair until we left the office, I told my mom that I didn’t want to see him ever again and that I hated him. I was raging with fury! I kept trying to understand why I felt this way but I really couldn’t. He was a nice man, very helpful and insightful, and very kind, but I hated him.

She didn’t say much. She was very sad and upset that I felt this way and especially that she couldn’t understand the reason behind it. Throughout the entire way back, we both kept silent, and I felt guilty for having been such a prick to an honest, kind man. I knew he didn’t deserve it.

When we got home, I spoke to her about it and told her that I wasn’t comfortable with this type of treatment and that it would depress me. Again, I was too hung up on all the trivial things in my life. She could tell. She asked me to try out a couple of sessions, no strings attached, and then walk out if I still felt uncomfortable. I told her I would think about it.

I knew that I had to find closure. What if he was right? What if it recurs in a couple of years? This wasn’t the type of situation where an “I told you so” would be acceptable.

That night, I went out partying just as my friends and I had planned. I told them about my meeting with Dr. Fahmy and they thought I was being silly about the reason I didn’t want to see him.

Blurting out the reason made it sound very silly, but no one understood how I felt.

I woke up the next day feeling a little more peaceful. I called Amani, my uncle’s wife, who’s one of the closest people to me and told her about my experience with him. She gave me the same advice my mother had given me and told me that I had nothing to lose. It was worth a shot.

Accordingly, I called him and told him that I was ready to start treatment. Everyone was happy with my decision including Dr. Fahmy. He was very enthusiastic on the phone and immediately scheduled an appointment for the next day.

I went to meet him again the next day as scheduled. We had a bit of a pleasant chat before we started the session. Dr. Manal, his assistant, attended the session this time as well. I didn’t know who she was and what she did. All I knew was that she was his assistant.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was a little anxious.

Dr. Fahmy and Dr. Manal asked me to lie down facing the ceiling on a table set up with sheets and a pillow. He explained that he was going to do LymphDrainageTherapy first, followed by activating the Meridians. Needless to say, I had no clue what all this meant.

The session went much better than I had expected. It was more like an energy massage. After we finished, he gave me supplements I had to take everyday. Some of them had strange names I’ve never heard of before. They included: Cordyceps, Reishi Mushroom, Silenium, Pomegranate Extract, Vitamin C, Vitamin D3, and Omega 3.

He also gave me apricot seeds, which contain Vitamin B17 (a natural cure for cancer and prevents it), and told me to take 7 seeds a day.

Dr. Fahmy then asked me to go see Dr. Y, an alternative doctor and a homeopath he closely works with. He said he was going to measure my energy level and give me an energy session on a machine called Bicom.

Bicom Machine

The Bicom machine identifies normal and abnormal frequencies along with weaknesses in organs. The Bicom separates and filters healthy and unhealthy frequencies, inverting the unhealthy ones, strengthening them and returning them to the body as healthy frequencies.

I went to see Dr. Y right after my session with Dr. Fahmy. He measured my energy level with a specialized machine, which also detected imbalances or malfunctioning of the organs. To be honest, I don’t remember the specific results from that day, but I do remember that my energy level was very low.

He put me on the Bicom machine for half an hour and then I went home. Even though both sessions went well, all I could think of were all the restrictions I had.

I isolated myself from everyone. From that point on and for a very long time, I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I ignored almost all the phone calls, messages emails and posts I got from friends. I disappeared.

I had nothing to say to them because I was confused.

I threw it all on Dr. Fahmy when I realized that he had changed my life. Neither him nor my mother had ever forced me into any of this but I resented him for opening my eyes to all the things I didn’t want to see. I thought that ignorance would have been much easier and a lot less responsibility.

I didn’t want to see him the next day. I didn’t go to the session. I made my mother call him and tell him that I was feeling ill. He offered to help with whatever it was that I had, but there was nothing really. I just didn’t want to see him.

My mother was devastated this time because he had promised to relieve me of the pain I felt after chemotherapy. He said these sessions were going to help reduce the side effects. I didn’t care even if that were true. I insisted and told her that I wasn’t going to see him anymore, for the second time.

She called him and told him that I had changed my mind but he insisted that I pick up energy sheets that I should sit on during my chemo and others to stick onto the chemo bags.

I thought that was ridiculous. What was a piece of paper going to do?

I went to pick them up with my mom because I knew it would have made her feel better.

As usual, I couldn’t sleep well the night before my chemo session. I woke up the next day feeling tired and depressed. I went to the hospital for my 3rd session and as usual I had a blood sample taken before the chemotherapy.

Pre-chemo session #2 blood test

This time, Dr. M wasn’t happy with my results. My WBC count had dramatically decreased from 7,000 to 2,700 in 2 weeks, and my Hemoglobin had also dropped.

As most of us know, our white blood cells (leukocytes) are responsible for our immune system. Chemotherapy is a drug that attacks and kills the fastest growing cells in our body, which include our hair follicles and the WBC produced by our bone marrow.

A healthy person’s WBC count is anywhere between 4,000/5,000 to 10,000. If a person’s WBC count is below 4,000, he/she is facing a medical disorder called Leukopenia. Also, if a person’s count is above 30,000, this is an indicator of Leukemia.

My mother was furious at the results, especially that the doctor hadn’t given me any supplements to make up for the expected WBC and Hemoglobin drop.

She asked him to postpone my session in order for us to have time to improve my blood picture. He told her that she wasn’t a doctor and that it wasn’t a problem. He said he was going to add an extra day of Neupogen (please see Neupogen side effects), a shot I took for 3 days everyday, 24 hours after each session.

I didn’t really care about the results. I told my mom that I wanted to get it over with, but I asked my doctor to give me something that would help with the nausea. He said he would add an IV solution at the end of the session.

My mom sat me on the energy sheet and asked the doctor to stick the papers onto the chemo bags. He looked at her in sarcasm and so did I to be very honest. I wanted to disprove Dr. Fahmy.

I asked Dr. M if that was my last chemo session as agreed. I was devastated when he told me that I had 5 more to go before radiation!

I was confident that this wasn’t what he had said before.

I felt even more depressed. There was more chemo to come. More pain, more suffering, more harm!

Half way through the session, I realized that I didn’t feel the metallic taste in my mouth I felt every time. I thought that maybe the drugs were different this and didn’t have the same side effect. When the nurse walked in to change the chemo bag, I asked her if they were the same drugs from every time and she said yes.

I finished the session and I felt ok. I didn’t feel nauseous or tired. Dr. M told me to come back the next day for another solution for the nausea. I went home feeling very well. I was able to eat, drink and walk! I waited for all the side effects to show up but nothing happened! I chose to believe that it was the intravenous solution my doctor put at the end. I refused to believe that the energy paper and sheets had anything to do with the way I felt. I went to sleep that night anticipating the nausea.

When I woke up the next day, I realized that I was still feeling fine. The effect of any drug usually lasts up to 24 hours at most; it couldn’t have been the solution.

I went to see Dr. M for my Neupogen shot and he was surprised at the way I looked. I was able to walk normally, and I wasn’t feeling tired. I felt great!

The only problem I had was a vein infection in my left arm from chemo. It was a little swollen and it hurt.

After I took the shot, I went out for lunch with mom and then did some shopping. Only then, it had hit me that these sheets could have been the reason. It couldn’t have been a placebo effect, because I was very skeptical and didn’t think they would do anything, and the effect of the IV solution would only last up to 24 hours.

I started to realize that there was more truth in what Dr. Fahmy said. I still refused to admit it to my mom.

To be fair, the metallic taste came up a few days later but unaccompanied by the nausea and the other side effects. I felt tired after the 4th Neupogen shot (which has its own side effects), but it wasn’t the same kind fatigue I felt from chemo.

Even though I was feeling fine, I looked very ill. My mother could tell that there was something abnormal in the way I looked. Se thought a full blood picture would be a good idea.

I made a blood test and when it came out, the results were shocking.

Post Neupogen shot blood test

My WBC count was 27,700 this time. Closer to Leukemia. She immediately called Dr. M to ask him about the major count fluctuation.

He shouted at her for making such a decision without consulting him, which I think was ridiculous. Every mother has the right to care about her daughter in whichever way she chooses and what possible harm could a blood test do?

He told her that it was an effect of Neupogen and that it was normal, but it didn’t make sense to her. Neupogen is meant to boost the WBC count, but what if it sustains it at its highest level? What would happen then?

I researched the Neupogen side effects and this is what I found:

“A study released Wednesday suggests there’s an increased risk of leukemia in breast cancer patients who take drugs to get a boost in white blood cell growth in order to tolerate more aggressive chemotherapy treatments, leading to some speculation about Amgen’s Neulasta and Neupogen.” (For the full article please visit: http://www.redherring.com/Home/21169)

When my mother told me, I was furious! I started researching chemotherapy and what it does to the body. Everything I read was terrifying! Something inside me told me that chemo was going to kill me. I felt so violated after everything I had read. Only then, I understood the true cause of my father’s death.

On the bright side, there was so much hope in the information I learned about all the natural cures and different treatment options for cancer. I started to realize that the pharmaceutical industry was nothing but a mafia!

I posted a trailer to a documentary called ‘The Forbidden Cures’ on my fb wall. I thought it was shocking.

Dina, one of my best friends, called me right after she saw the trailer. She wanted to know what I had in mind and I knew that she would be one of the very few people who would actually understand how I felt. I talked to her and told her that I was considering stopping chemo. She was extremely supportive to my surprise; she didn’t have the slightest doubt that it could have been the wrong decision.

It felt so good to receive this kind of support especially on such a controversial decision. She called me back a few minutes later and told me that her mom had ordered ‘Knockout’, a wonderful book written by Suzanne Somers.

Thanks to Kimmy (Dina’s mom), this book became my backbone!

In this book, she interviews doctors who are curing cancer.

Most of the interviewed doctors do not use any chemotherapy or chemicals. They are curing cancer without chemo! The book also exposes the Food and Drug Association (FDA) and the pharmaceutical industry, which work together to generate billions of dollars a year, especially off ‘the cancer business’.

I also read that, Tamoxifen, one of the drugs used to prevent the recurrence of breast cancer, increases the risk of developing uterine cancer by 30%.

I asked Dr. M about this shocking piece of information; he told me that ‘unfortunately’, I had to take it in my next chemo cycle.

No I wasn’t!

He thought it was unfortunate, but why do I HAVE to take it?

I now had my mind made up and not because I was afraid of chemo, but because I was 100% against it after what I read.

I told my mom that I was going to quit chemo and that I was going to cure myself alone (still refusing to see Dr. F).

After everything she had read about chemo, she couldn’t force me into poisoning myself, but at the same time, she was very concerned. She was worried because I needed to at least follow up with Dr. F if I were to make such a decision, but she knew how I felt about it.

It was time for my follow up scan. I had to get a breast ultra sound and possibly another mammogram. I got my scan done and received the results on the spot.

One of the tumors had shrunk by around 1cm and the other 2 remained the same.

11 days after my post Neupogen blood test

I also took a blood test to monitor my WBC count and it had gone down to 2000! From 7.0 to 2.7, up to 27.0 and down to 2.0?

How exhausting could this process be for the body?

It was now time for my appointment with Dr. M.

I was really nervous because I was about to break the news to him. I wasn’t going to do chemotherapy anymore.

Something important I had failed to mention before was that I really loved Dr. M. He was the only oncologist I felt comfortable with and I could tell how much he cared about me and how attentive he was to my case. I’m sure he was like this with all his patients, but it just shows how amazing of a person he was. He frequently called to check up on me after chemotherapy and he always made sure to personally follow up on my sessions, which most oncologists fail to do these days.

I even remember this one time I was too tired to go take the Neupogen shot at the hospital. He waited for me until I went, even though he had travel plans and had to delay them for me.

I felt very sad that I had to upset him with such a decision, but I had no other choice. As an oncologist, I didn’t expect him to understand where I was coming from. Due to the nature of his job and everything he’s learned over the many years, it would be almost impossible to convince him otherwise.

I walked into his clinic feeling extremely anxious. I sat on the chair, gave him my scan and then told him that I was no longer convinced with orthodox medicine and that I wanted to stop chemotherapy.

He was stunned. He gave me a look that indicated how crazy he thought I was.

His reaction was a lot worse than I had expected. He told me I was stupid and that stopping chemotherapy would not be an option. He said he wasn’t going to let me. I argued back and told him that I had faith in other options and that it was a personal decision that even my mom was not involved in.

He told me that I was going to die of cancer if I stopped chemo, and that it would be a very quick death.

He said that I wouldn’t even have the time to explore other options, but here I am!

As soon as he said this, I stopped arguing and gave him the Suzanne Somers book. I begged him to read it. He looked at it sarcastically and told me that he was going to read it but meanwhile, he wanted me to continue with treatment.

I asked him to give me full details about the treatment process he had planned.

He said I was going to go through 5 more chemo sessions, and then radiation, and then surgery, and then he would put me on hormonal treatment for 2 years.

The hormonal treatment was new to me. Shocking. He had never mentioned anything about it before.

He said he would put me on menopause for 2 years and after that, I wasn’t allowed to give birth for another 5 years or else my tumor could come back.

I wasn’t going to be able to give birth anyway, infertility was a 99% chance!

Everything he said combined with the fact that he said I was going to die was horrifying.

He told me to come to the hospital the next day and that he wasn’t going to force me into chemo. He just wanted to discuss this further.

That night was one of the worst nights since my diagnosis. I couldn’t have been more confused after everything he said. Something inside me kept telling me to ignore him and I did.

I went to the hospital the next day. I could tell that he really thought he could talk me into chemo. When I realized how pointless it was to argue again, I told him that I wasn’t psychologically prepared for the session and that I needed more time. He gave me another week off.

My mom could tell that I had my mind set, and that nothing in the world could have changed my decision, but I could tell that she was still worried.

To make her feel better, I decided to go see Dr. F and possibly start a new page. I felt that I needed him this time because I was now on my own.

We went to see him the next day and I told him about my decision to stop chemo. He wasn’t surprised. He asked about what I was planning on doing and I told him that I was going to cure myself. He could tell that I was intentionally being very cocky and over confident.

He asked about how I planned to do that, and I told him I was going to use the Internet… lol (Not that that’s impossible, but it’s always more comforting to have someone guide you throughout your healing process, especially someone with that amount of knowledge)

He talked to me about things I should do to promote my healing. He suggested that we do energy sessions, but again, just as soon as we started, I decided to break up with him for the millionth time!

I still didn’t know what it was that I had against him.

I told him that I didn’t like the energy sessions because they were long and boring and that I would prefer to continue with the nutritional side of treatment.

For the first time, he looked really sad. He genuinely wanted to do anything to help but I wouldn’t let him. He was supposed to travel back to the UK weeks ago, but he postponed all his travel plans to treat me.

He gave me advice on what to do to cure myself. He said that he was going to follow up with me and do distant healing, and that I should contact him if I needed anything. There was nothing more he could do because I wouldn’t let him. He also gave me a couple of books to read that he said would be helpful.

Dr. Fahmy went back to the UK 3 days later. I continued to see Dr. Y and Dr. Manal for energy sessions.

A week had passed, and it was time for my chemo session again.

The day of the session, Dr. M called my mom to ask where I was. She told him that I was still insisting on stopping chemo. He asked to speak to me but I refused. I felt really bad but I didn’t want to hear all the negative things he had to say. I was already depressed.

I sent him a long sms saying that I appreciated everything he had done for me and that I had faith in what I was doing. I told him that I would visit him soon with promising results. He replied with ‘Good luck’ and disappeared ever since.

I was still depressed and isolated from everyone. I had faith that I could cure myself but I needed Dr. Fahmy’s support.

I finally realized what it was that I had against him.

Dr. Fahmy opened my eyes to everything I needed to see. Discovering all the scary, negative things about orthodox medicine was very hard to deal with. It was too much for me to comprehend. I blamed him for my own confusion and for my personal struggle.

At some point I was torn between my love and loyalty to Dr. M and the strong belief that chemotherapy was not a cure and that I needed to stop. I didn’t want to upset him.

I was only able to make that decision when I put myself first.

I’ve been off chemo since 18th of April 2011. I can feel my tumors shrinking and I’m still alive! :)

My hair hasn’t started to grow back yet but my eyebrows and eyelashes have!

Dr. Fahmy has been away for almost a month now. I’ve been following up with him via email and doing everything he had asked me to do. I also see Dr. Manal and Dr. Y almost everyday for energy sessions.

I suddenly started enjoying a new lifestyle I never thought I would enjoy. Letting go of all the trivial components of my life was a lot easier than I had expected. It all came naturally after I had adjusted everything else. I eat, drink and sleep healthy, and I do yoga in the mornings. I’m constantly surrounded by beautiful people. What more can anyone want?

Dr. Fahmy is coming back next week and I’ve decided to continue with him. I actually miss him! I believe I have a lot to learn from him and much more to experience!

I would advise everyone to watch the below documentary. You will find the rest of the parts on youtube. ‘A World Without Cancer’ contains shocking information about the Big Pharma and explains the history of ‘scientific arrogance’. It also points out natural ways to cure and prevent cancer.

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12 Responses to Part 3: Internal Struggle, Chemo Complications & Current Treatment

  1. Malda says:

    Of course, you know everything I have to say, but I just wanted to post a comment here as a stamp or remembrance to what I feel or think.

    First off, the day you told me about what you felt about chemo vs. alternative, I really felt positive about it even before doing any research or reading any of your links from that list hehe.

    I’m glad so far this is working out for you, I hope it continues to do so even after you are well and cancer-free. I guess everyone reading this should take one part of it with them, whether it’s all the knowledge you’ve accumulated and shared, or a part of your emotional experience, or simply learning to live a healthier and positive lifestyle. But most importantly I think, it’s the part where you take control of your life, you do your own research and finally, the will to fight!

    I’m very proud of you for what you’ve done. I’ve always known you were a very strong and smart girl. Also very stubborn (:P but it does work well for you SOMETIMES), but you’re not blind or ignorant to other perspectives.

    Secondly, of course you know I am here and not going anywhere and will try my bestestestest to do everything I can to help, support, cheer, offer hugs, and visit every chance I get.

    Everyone will tell you the same, (I know because they come to me to express what they feel about my amazing friend), that your first 2 posts were both shocking and emotional. Both for the same reasons, we simply had no idea of all of what you were feeling deep inside. We all try to imagine and expect how someone feels in this situation, but when you add to that your personal thoughts and opinions and realities, suddenly you’re not talking about a girl you know who has cancer, you’re talking about Heba, the girl I knew since I was 8 years old.
    I don’t want to make this long and gay so anyway, YOU’RE GREAT AND WE ALL LOVE YOU AND EXCITED ABOUT YOUR BLOG. WE ALL PRAY FOR YOU AND ARE SENDING POSITIVE ENERGy AND THOUGHTS TOWARDS YOU. You made us strong about this simply by watching you be strong about this and that’s an incredible thing to do.

    I love you super much! Can’t wait to see u in July <3 <3

    Btw you have some spelling mistakes :P hahaha J/K

  2. Rana says:

    Hello Heba! i really applaud your decision to stick with holistic treatment and glad your feeling positive!, although i want to ask if you have been checking your tumor size and if its been shrinking ?
    Positive thoughts your way xx

  3. taha says:

    great blog Heba. Very important.

    I just came across this article in the economist that I think would be of interest about alternative medicine and placebos:

    http://www.economist.com/node/18710090

  4. amr zaki says:

    I need to talk with you. I read a bit about your blog sent through a friend (Today) I havnt had a chance to read it all..will do though at some point this week but I need to discuss with you a lot of things.all based on things experienced and research. my email is attached and Im not into blogging and dunno where to reply to you but we def. need to talk..

  5. amr zaki says:

    sorry to brush up on you like that but why the hell were you getting neupogen at the hospital? You can take it at home..infact..you can give it to yourself. Listen..Im itchin to talk with you.. bas it’s gonna be much more than a few hours.. there’s a longgg story to this and Im going to lead u to the correct path without confusing urself into all this. I know you’re thinking…

    Sincerly, Crazy man

  6. Amr zaki says:

    Here i am reading ur blog and refusing to sleep… Im guessing dr fahmy told u to sleep early :)

  7. Sara Mitri says:

    Hi again Heba,

    This will be the longer version of my response to your posts. Again, I will try to be as fair and unbiased as I can, and hopefully you will find something useful in what I have to say. I must warn you that, as I told you before, I don’t work on cancer. My knowledge is based on some reading with a general interest. I would normally not write things like this from memory. Correct scientific conduct requires that I go through the literature reliably before I write you this, but there is no time for that. So if you question any of this, it is entirely possible that I am mistaken, and I’ll be happy to go back to the literature and check on it.

    To my knowledge, cancer is when mutant cells in your body start growing out of control. Normally, cells in your body grow and divide in a regulated manner and carry within them a set of instructions (DNA) that gets passed to all new cells that are created. Sometimes mistakes happen when these instructions are being copied, which are called mutations. This is a very natural process, and the body normally takes care of this by sending a signal to these mutant cells that makes them “commit suicide”. Cancer cells have mutations that make them grow out of control and ignore the suicide signals sent by the body. As these cells divide with their new mutated DNA, they also destroy neighboring cells and can spread to various parts of the body. To my knowledge, the exact causes of cancer are unknown. It appears to be partly genetic (people with certain genes are more likely to have such mutations in their cells), but can also be triggered by external factors, such as exposure to radioactive materials, which is known to increase the rate of mistakes in DNA copying. Cancer in humans and most animals is not contagious. However, there are examples of a contagious cancer that has been found in animals called the Tasmanian devils. Cancer has no cure yet, at least most forms of cancer do not. However, there are methods that are known to slow down cancer or to kill cancer cells (e.g. chemotherapy). As you mentioned, these are not cures, because the cancer can come back. This can happen in two ways: (1) you get an entirely new mutation that leads to a new group of cancer cells and a new tumor or (2) some cancer cells survive from previous rounds of treatment (current methods to detect cancer cells are not accurate enough to catch every single cell, you just have to hope that they’re gone) but takes a while until it grows back to numbers that are detectable. As you know, it is a deadly disease, which means that any treatment that either extends the lifetime of the patient or perhaps completely eliminates a tumor is very valuable, even if it doesn’t guarantee that you stay cancer-free for the rest of your life. But to put things into perspective, if you are genetically predisposed to get cancer, no current (maybe even future) treatment can guarantee that you won’t get it again.

    Now, just to touch on some of the things that were raised in your post and in the videos. Cancer is not a vitamin deficiency disease. Having a healthy life-style (eating healthy foods, exercising, not smoking and avoiding stress) is likely to reduce the risk of you getting cancer. People have also found that psychology plays a huge role in many diseases. Optimism, a positive outlook or simply a strong will and belief in being able to conquer the disease has been shown to work miracles. Placebo works on this concept. Believing that you are taking medicine that will make you better often helps you to get better. Conversely, believing that you are dying or taking something poisonous can worsen your health significantly. These concepts also apply to cancer. I think (and this is pure speculation) these psychological methods work because they free up the resources in your body (that may be used in combatting stress, for example) and invest them in your immune system to fight the disease. So basically, by being good to your body, you allow it to do its best at curing you itself. But, while it is probably true that some people manage to conquer their cancer psychologically, these psychological effects can only go so far. The body doesn’t fight everything perfectly, and can often fail, which is why we need medicine to help it along. In short, changing your diet – whether it’s eating apricot seeds or stopping dairy products – may be good for you (or may not), but I doubt that it will cure your cancer.

    This brings me to another point. Since nobody understands cancer fully, and since there is no cure, there is the possibility that even very strange and illogical cures actually work. And I believe that the medical community must stay open to these possibilities. If it turns out that apricot seeds do cure cancer, even if it sounds ridiculous, one should start prescribing apricot seeds and then take the time to find out why they work. However, and this is a big HOWEVER, in order to switch to a new treatment and to abandon old treatments, the new treatment must first be PROVEN to work. Then comes the question of how to prove that a treatment works.

    Well, that’s where science comes in. Science is simply a tool that is used to find out the truth. That really is all it is. The way it works, the power of science, is in transparency. It’s actually pretty similar to politics in a way. As you know, now in Egypt, there is a huge lack of transparency in political circles, which is making it extremely difficult to find out what the truth is. That leads to so many rumors going round and you don’t know what to believe and what not to (think videos on the internet). Ideally, the military and the government would show all their cards. They would tell everyone exactly what was going on, how they see things from their perspective, what decisions they are taking, what plans they are following and how they want to implement these plans. This would then make it possible for everyone to take in all this information and decide for themselves what the truth is, what they think about it, and how to react to it. Science is an attempt to apply this transparency to knowledge of the world around us. When a scientist conducts an experiment or collects data about a disease, they must publish all the details on exactly how they conducted their study, exactly what they found (they are not allowed to exclude any observations) and then what they think all of it means. Before publication, their paper is then read by other 2 or 3 other scientists in the field, and is criticized over and over until they are all happy with the results. The paper is then published for everyone to see. The reader may read a paper and find that he or she is still not convinced and that the study may have some flaws. Readers are allowed to comment and there is then a big discussion about the paper. In short, this process encourages scientists to conduct their experiments in ways that are careful and convincing to others. You don’t want to be caught claiming something that is not supported by enough evidence.

    For example, if I am conducting a study to find out whether Reiki cures cancer, I would firstly try and collect data from as many patients as I can get my hands on. If I only use one or two examples where it worked, the reader might say that maybe the person was cured by their positive attitude or because they were very young and so the body was able to fix things by itself or by the positive attitude of the doctor who was so nice and made them feel better. That is not convincing. Ideally, I would use data from patients of different age groups, in different countries, exposed to lots of different conditions, etc. Then, to know whether the treatment actually worked, I would need to compare the data from people who are getting Reiki treatment to others who are not. So I need a “control” group. This control group should be as big as the group I am giving the treatment to and they should also think that they are getting the treatment. If they don’t think that they are getting a treatment, you might get a negative placebo effect that will mean that even if Reiki doesn’t work, you are still more likely to see more cured patients in the Reiki group because they will be more optimistic. Finally, when I’ve collected all my data, I must decide how much the two groups have to differ from each other for me to be convinced that the effect is real and not just randomly a bit better. This is where statistical analysis comes in, but let’s not get into that. In short, there are probably many studies out there on whether Reiki cures cancer, but some are better than others, following the criteria that I just listed. So, ideally, after adding my own study to the collection, I would go back and collect all these studies, give each a quality score and then reevaluate the data from all the studies to find out whether Reiki really works. Maybe it turns out that all the good studies show that Reiki cures cancer, and the bad studies show that it has no effect. Or maybe it’s the other way round. But either way, it will be an objective analysis of lots of studies, good and bad, that should tell us with some confidence whether a treatment works or not. Such studies about all the studies are called “meta-studies” and that is exactly what the cochrane project is about. They mainly publish meta-studies, which makes it a great place to go and look for scientific results.

    The pharmaceutical industry is supposedly subjected to these scientific procedures. So before any medicine hits the market, its makers must prove with a lot of data that (1) their product works significantly better than placebo and (2) that it does not cause more harm than it does good, on average. They must also come up with long lists of any side-effects that they saw along with the percentages of people that experienced these side-effects (some side-effects might be extremely rare). These lists need to go on the boxes that people buy to increase transparency. The patient must be aware of the possible risks and the possible benefits of taking any medication. While all this sounds really nice, things are not always as clean as this. While scientists have little financial benefit in finding cures (although they do benefit in terms of prestige and the ability to get future jobs/funds), the pharmaceutical industry has a huge financial interest in finding treatments that work because it will mean huge sales, obviously. One hears of many cases where they “cheat”. For example, I have heard that many pharmaceutical companies have the trials of their treatments tested out in Russia because apparently, if you pay the researchers there enough money, they can get you back results that say that your treatments works even if it doesn’t in reality (then again, this is something I have heard by word of mouth, and I have no evidence that this happens). One could probably write books about the corruption of the pharmaceutical industry and the ways in which they exploit people in order to cell more medicine (a good one is a book called “Bad Science” by Ben Goldacre). But, unfortunately, since there is still heavy regulation of these procedures, the pharmaceutical industry is our best bet. I don’t say you should trust them 100%, but since the studies are public, one can always go back and look them up and decide for oneself whether the study really was done ethically (authors of papers are required to list where they got funding from to do their study, which often gives you a lot of information on its legitimacy).

    About your oncologist, I found it really great to hear that he is someone who cares about you and takes the time to check up on you. Unfortunately, this is not common in the medical practice, which is why a lot of people turn to alternative medicine, where doctors often spend a lot more time with their patients. One criticism of your oncologist, however, was a lack of transparency. It sounds like he wasn’t always telling you everything and that broke your trust, in him and in the whole medical approach. I find this very unfortunate. If you do decide to go back to him, I would encourage you to talk to him about this issue and make it very clear that you want to be informed of every step of the way, the treatment options, the side-effects, the probability of these side-effects occurring, etc. I think this will make you feel a lot more in control and will be in line with the philosophy of transparency that science is all about.

    Now let’s come to alternative medicine. The reason why a lot of people (in particular scientists and medical doctors) don’t take alternative medicine seriously is because they do not follow any of these scientific procedures. Alternative treatments are usually said to work based on individual cases that were found to work. For any scientist, this is not convincing. The practitioner of the treatment might be really convinced that his/her treatment SHOULD work and so they only tend to remember the cases where it did work and forget about the ones where it didn’t. They won’t be keeping track of it all and compiling objective statistics, allowing others to scrutinize their findings. The reason there is so little regulation is probably because alternative medicine treatments tend to be pretty harmless, there is less incentive to stop them from spreading. For example, according to scientific logic, homeopathic remedies are just water. There are no molecules of any other substance in there (I will try and avoid a discussion on what I think about whether alternative treatments work or not, we can do that another time if you want). So, what harm could that do, right?

    Well, they can actually do a lot of harm if people believe in them and then stop taking conventional treatments in favor of something that has not been proven to work. They also tend to take a lot of money away from more reliable methods. The alternative medicine business makes billions of dollars a year in the US, and in the UK, the National Health Services (that provides for free healthcare) has started funding homeopathy hospitals while cutting staff in conventional hospitals. I personally find this quite dangerous. I am personally happy to support homeopathy or any other alternative treatment if I see enough studies supporting it objectively using a scientific method. Individual cases, unfortunately, don’t tell you anything. The human body is such a complicated machine, it is exposed to so many things all the time from the environment and from within itself (think of stress hormones) that it becomes so difficult to find out which of these components actually caused death or a cure. The only way to find out is to look at hundreds and thousands of cases where only one thing was changed (treatment or placebo) and finding out whether it really works.

    I completely understand and respect the initiative that you are taking in trying to cure yourself. I think it’s amazing that you have the courage to do that. But I am just saying that the truth about the world of medicine and alternative medicine is often difficult to obtain. Scientific logic says that you don’t need to trust anyone, trust yourself only, go look for the studies and convince yourself that they were well conducted and objective. Only that way will you be able to find the truth.

    This has gotten quite long, so to try and finish, I am saying that I am willing to go through such studies with you to find out what is best, what works and what doesn’t. In the meantime, I am begging you not to stop conventional treatments, which, as far as I know, have been proven to work, at least to some extent. We can go through the evidence (real evidence, not videos posted on the internet or on the news – the media is generally not a great place to get at the truth ;-)) together and find out how bad chemotherapy and all the other treatments really is for you, and whether the alternative treatments are expected to work.

    Does this make sense to you? Please let me know if you have any questions about this, I know it’s a LOT (sorry, I can get carried away writing sometimes ;-)) and feel free to criticize me and to object to what I’m saying here.

    And of course, good luck!
    Sara

    • hebamitkees says:

      Sara! I’m so sorry it’s taking me a while to reply to this. I haven’t read it all yet, I’ve been really busy with sessions everyday. I will reply to you soon! Thank you sooo much for taking the time to research! :):):):)

    • hebamitkees says:

      Hi Sara!
      Sorry for the late reply.
      I’m not sure if you’ve read my 4th post yet. It has information on one of the chemo drugs I’ve already taken and on another ‘breast cancer prevention’ drug. To be honest, there is no way I’d go back to conventional treatment after everything I’ve read.
      As you’ve said, chemo and radiation cannot cure cancer. Chemotherapy literally kills the immune system and affects the rest of the organs eventually, and especially the liver. The body cannot fight off any disease without having a strong immune system.
      My cancer is not genetic and doctors cannot pinpoint the actual cause.

      Below are come quotes on chemotherapy and radiation by doctors and scientists:

      “My studies have proved conclusively that untreated cancer victims live up to four times longer than treated individuals. If one has cancer and opts to do nothing at all, he will live longer and feel better than if he undergoes radiation, chemotherapy or surgery, other than when used in immediate life-threatening situations.”—Prof Jones. (1956 Transactions of the N.Y. Academy of Medical Sciences, vol 6. There is a fifty page article by Hardin Jones of National Cancer Institute of Bethesda, Maryland. He surveyed global cancer of all types and compared the untreated and the treated, to conclude that the untreated outlives the treated, both in terms of quality and in terms of quantity. Secondly he said, “Cancer does not cure”. Third he said “There is a physiological mechanism which finishes off an individual”.)

      “Most cancer patients in this country die of chemotherapy…Chemotherapy does not eliminate breast, colon or lung cancers. This fact has been documented for over a decade. Yet doctors still use chemotherapy for these tumours…Women with breast cancer are likely to die faster with chemo than without it.”—Alan Levin, M.D.

      “The five year cancer survival statistics of the American Cancer Society are very misleading. They now count things that are not cancer, and, because we are able to diagnose at an earlier stage of the disease, patients falsely appear to live longer. Our whole cancer research in the past 20 years has been a failure. More people over 30 are dying from cancer than ever before…More women with mild or benign diseases are being included in statistics and reported as being “cured”. When government officials point to survival figures and say they are winning the war against cancer they are using those survival rates improperly.”—Dr J. Bailer, New England Journal of Medicine (Dr Bailer’s answer to questions put by Neal Barnard MD of the Physicians Committee For Responsible Medicine and published in PCRM Update, sept/oct 1990.

      “The cancer industry has an astonishing knack for ignoring the obvious,” said Mike Adams, a consumer health advocate and frequent critic of conventional cancer treatments. “When you irradiate the left breast, you simultaneously cause severe damage to other organs exposed to the radiation beam, including the heart and lungs.

      “Finding a cure for cancer is absolutely contraindicated by the profits of the cancer industry’s chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery cash trough.”—Dr Diamond, M.D.

      “As a chemist trained to interpret data, it is incomprehensible to me that physicians can ignore the clear evidence that chemotherapy does much, much more harm than good.”—Alan Nixon, Ph.D., Past President, American Chemical Society.

      As you’ve said, transparency is a major issue. Given that I truly believe that cancer is a conspiracy by the medical/pharmaceutical companies and governments, I would find it hard to trust any information they provide.

      I would suggest you read this article on the Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You’ll know what I mean: :)

      http://www.naturalnews.com/027300_cancer_breast_health.html#ixzz1O5oYl8HP

      Regarding alternative medicine, below is a link to a very useful online book that combines information about conventional and alternative medicine. It explains the important role of nutrition and supplements used to combat cancer:

      http://www.drlam.com/book/CancerBook.pdf

      Also, this is a message I got from someone who’s been diagnosed with a histamine related disorder and is following nutritional treatment. Histamine is now known to promote tumor growth, and inflammation plays a huge part in cancer:

      “I have to stick to a low histamine diet or I may develop a type of cancer called mastocytosis. Researchers are now exploring controlling/shrinking breast cancer tumor growth through a low histamine diet. I had severely fibrocystic breasts (benign tumors) for most of my life till starting a low histamine diet. Histamine also causes inflammation, which as you no doubt know plays a huge part in cancer.

      I’ve cut out many so called healthy foods (yeast, pineapple, avocado, cashews and others) and feel much better. The inflammation has gone, my CA 125 cancer tumor marker has gone back down to normal and my fibrocystic tumors have disappeared.”

      Reiki cannot cure cancer, and this is why I said that my Doctor uses different forms of energy healing together. He has his own school of thought and has recently healed a 15-year-old girl of sarcoma cancer in the UK.
      He’s a holistic doctor, which means that along with energy healing, he provides supplements and a nutrition program to fight the disease.

      Please let me know what you think of all this and I’m sorry again for taking so long to reply. :) :) :)
      Thank you so much again for taking the time to research!

      Below are some links to articles you might wanna look at:

      http://www.naturalnews.com/021967_cancer_chemotherapy_water.html
      http://www.indiadivine.org/audarya/ayurveda-health-wellbeing/976741-killer-cancer-treatment-how-chemotherapy-kills-both-cancer-cells-patient.html
      http://www.naturalnews.com/019989_conventional_cancer_treatments_radiation_therapy.html
      http://www.quantumbalancing.com/news/cancer.htm

  8. Nawa says:

    Heba, i cant help but check ure profile everyday to see your updates about your stories.
    To be honest, if you can have this power and faith to fight this disease then everyone around us can fight anything small that comes in their way. Im so so so so proud that you decided to choose your path to cure ureself thru positive thinking, yoga and living a healthy life-style.
    I dont know what to say but im speechless and im supporting u all the way!! you are truely genuine and strong!!! I dont know what else to say but keep ure stories coming as they are really interesting! :) and life learning btw!
    Mwafa2a ya rab ou Allah yishfikeh!!

  9. mao says:

    Heba,
    Way to go. I really admire you’re strength.
    This is the first time I ever reply to a blog. but you’re story is so brave and inspiring that i felt i had to send you any positive thoughts.
    I really hope alternative medicine works for you. I actually have a strong feeling it will. Waiting for your next blog with good news.
    P.S you should write everyday about how you feel and what you’re thinking. You’ll enjoy them after your full recovery in shaa allah.

    • hebamitkees says:

      Hi Mariam,
      It’s really encouraging to hear that people are getting more and more convinced with alternative medicine. To be honest, it makes so much more sense and I hope I get to prove its effectiveness with curing such a disease. :)
      Thank you SO much for the comment, it really meant a lot!
      I love the diary idea, I will start doing that!
      Thanks again!

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